Friday, May 25, 2012

Guess who's packed!

It feels surreal but I'm packed for my trip! In a little over 72 hours I will be boarding a plane to Texas which will then take me to Guatemala. As the days swiftly approach my excitement and anxiety bubble. I tell people about my trip and only hear two things: 1, "You're going to have such an amazing time!" and 2, "Are you ready?" As I contemplate the statement and question I am forced to look introspectively. My excitement certainly stems from the curiosity of an unknown becoming known. The statement is thus easy to deal with, the question on the other hand is a little more difficult.
Am I ready?
That's a hard question. A compex question. Am I ready to be on a plane for over 7 hours -haven't decided yet. Am I ready to be away from my family for that long -I go away to college, same thing. Am I ready to be in another country for the first time in my life (Puerto Rico kind of counts) -I think I'm ready for that. Am I ready to not only encounter but be completely immersed in a new culture -I think so. Am I ready to do a kind of work and a kind of learning that I've never done before -I'd certainly say so, I love learning! So what am I not ready for -I'm not sure. As with any new experience excitement has to develop alongside anxiety, if it doesn't you're doing it wrong! Engaging in an experience like this one expands one's horizon, as a result one has to become uncomfortable and anxious -amidst excitement- because one's entire self is being reoriented and developed. But the beauty of this somewhat paradoxical anxious excitement is that one can develop as an individual. These are the life experiences that shape one for the better and I know that on my trip I will learn things about myself that I never knew before!
So am I excited -absolutely!
Am I ready -well, are you ever really ready?
 

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